Michelle commented that I have been having many deep thoughts ever since I came back from Bristol...

I admit I have more thoughts as compared to the previous time... Last time, I only have to listen to solutions... Now I have to come out with my own solutions... Yes, I did try to solve the problem but most of the time, things just do not favour me at all... My solutions do not work at all... Consequently, I regretted my action and decision... What's next??? There is no one to turn to at all...

I still have many many questions which are left unanswered... Someone used to say that I have a brain but I always use it at the wrong place... Whenever it's the right time for me to apply my intelligence, I simply refused... I don't know why... I just chucked in my full level of stubbornness all the time... I know it won't solve any problem...

I always think that I can change someday... Or I am merely consoling myself??? I am not tougher at all at the end of the day, but instead even more fragile... I thought I am independent enough... But I am not again... I need other people by my side more even if it's just for a chat because being alone is too scary... I thought I will have less tears because I feel that I have gone through the worst... But it's not the case again... Tears roll for no reason... I thought I can get rid of the habit one fine day... But when will that day come??? I can't wait for that day to arrive!!!

Calvin asked me not to update my blog with emo posts as it will affect others...

I apologize to every reader if my blog has been affecting you in any way... But this is the most comfortable channel for me to voice out everything... So, don't rob me of the this way of making myself better and less emo... At the very least, I tried to make myself better...

I am starting to accept the fact that I am selfish and stubborn... Will elaborate more in my next post...