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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Have you smiled today??? =D

One of the meaningful and easy-to-remember questions posed to me by Wynken one day after I was "psycho-ed" by him for being emo... "Have you smiled today???" Wow... I was so impressed... His words can just stick in my brain and I can smile when thinking about them... One of the many many quotes that he gave me the other day was "Even smile at those things troubling you... Laugh at them for not being able to make you emo..." Thanks Wynken... You indeed made me happier and bring back the smile on my face...

Today, 240409, does not seem to be a good day... Calvin boy was so down that even lame jokes do not work on him... Sigh... Not only today actually... He has not been his own self since I can't remember when... Sunday or Monday... Hmmm... Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for him...

Michelle was nowhere in MSN... Must be having a tough battle ahead that she did not online... Never mind... I'll catch up with her soon... She did sneak into Facebook... Wakakaka...

On a random note, XQG got his new car... Woohoo... It's like FINALLY... It has been a 4-month-wait... Hahaha... I am just being too random anyway because he chatted with me in MSN today... His new car has nothing got to do with me... And he is another person whose emotions level dropped to below 0... He was in super ultra low spirit... Can you imagine throughout the whole conversation, there's no "haha" or "LOL" at all... What I keep seeing is an emoticon shaking its head denoting "no" and "nothing"... Even I feel like shaking my head... Sigh... He is beyond cure I guess...

Remember to ask yourself this question constantly... Have you smiled today??? =D Cheers...

Shi Hui <3

Saturday, April 25, 2009

I just want to...

- I just want to make myself HAPPIER...

- I just want to revert to my old self which has no problem SMILING or LAUGHING...

- I just want to CONCENTRATE and FOCUS on my coming finals...

- I just want to say THANK YOU to everyone for the support given all these while...

- I just want to say I APPRECIATE it...

For those who will not be able to participate in the first three points and is not included in the fourth point, can you please kindly find your own way out of my mind??? Your cooperation is deeply appreciated... Thanks...

For those who are included in the abovementioned points, thanks again... You know who you are... Love you guys to the MAXIMUM... *bow*

Shi Hui <3

Friday, April 24, 2009

Self-delusion...

[ S E L F - D E L U S I O N ]

A very pathetic word... The one performing this act is even more pathetic... Yep... The pathetic one here is Shi Hui... The even more pathetic one is Shi Hui too... I have been deluding myself on so many matters... My own emotions, my own thinking and myself... I thought by doing this, I can feel better and happier... But as time goes by, I do not feel better... Neither do I feel happier...

At the end of the day, the empty space is emptier than before... If I were to face it long ago, it might have been filled up by more than half now... How does it feel to be empty to the maximum??? Is it beyond salvation???

The happiness gained from self-delusion is so short-lived that you feel even moodier when the effect has gone off... The smile that was faked can make your heart aches at the same time when you smile... This is so tiring...

A dosage of how are you plus some words of encouragement will make my day I think... =)

Shi Hui <3

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Where should I leave the memory???

I have this thought that crossed my mind suddenly when I saw those cards on the wall... When it is the time for me to take down those cards and pack my belongings to leave this place, where should those unwanted memory be??? Should I just leave them in Bristol or should I bring them back??? The Valentine's card was still on the wall... I guess I will just leave it till the day I am really packing my belongings and by then I am sure I will have the answer... Hahaha... I know I am thinking too much... :P

Shi Hui <3

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Specially Dedicated... <3

There are 2people that this blog post is specially dedicated to... I have the thought of writing this post as I did quite a lot of write up on my family and how much they mean to me... The next group of people who love me dearly is no doubt my FRIENDS...

Let me start with a girl I have known since Primary 1... We grew up together... Known each other since young... The friendship and bond grew to the extent that no words can be used to describe our friendship... Never ever gave up on me... Forever willing to lend me a helping hand... Always there to back me up, give me full support, listen to my nagging.... Consoled me when I am down... Cheer me up when I frown... She will never ever reject me if I need any help from her... Be it fetching me when I have no transport or asking her out for yumcha... Remember and miss me all the time no matter where I am... I hate to admit that the time we spent together after SPM is getting lesser and lesser as our schedule clashes all the time... But deep in my heart, you are just a guardian angel sent to me... Guiding me through the darkest path and protecting me from any danger... My deeepest gratitute from the bottom of my heart... No amount of thanks will be able to express it... But I promise to back you up all the way... *Drums roll please* She is none other than MICHELLE LEONG KIT YIN... <3<3<3


I have no idea when I first met him... I can't remember since when I started to have him as a friend... Sorry... Blame it on my "no heart" to remember the details... Sometimes he just give the don't-bother-attitude to everyone around him... He will never ever reveal much about his thoughts... But somehow he can give constructive advice and is a good companion to have a heart-to-heart talk... Errrr.... This made my hair stand... Pillow talk in Tanjung sounds better... He accompanies me for rojak on most of the Saturdays evening... He accompanied me to Malacca to get my passport done... He brought me to all the nice places and food in Malacca and he still promises me to do so when I am back... He is sensitive enough to sense that you are not fine... He is another one who is forever there to lend me his ears... Be it just my nagging or grumbling or even some nonsense... He hardly frowns and one thing for sure, he never fail to cheer me up too... *Drums roll please* He is CALVIN CHUA THE BOY... <3<3<3




Thanks to both of you... When I frown, both of you let me realise that my smile means a lot to everyone... Allowed me to vent out my frustration and anger... I cried, I laughed and I smiled when chatting with both of you... Sometimes I do feel that I do not deserve to be treated so nice... But both of you are simply wonderful... Life is even more colourful than a rainbow with both of you trying to put colours into it... THANKS A MILLION!!! With both of you around, I will never ever fall... Even if I trip, I am sure there will be someone to hold my hand... I seriously do miss and love you and you... =D

P/S : I realised that I have very limited picture with them... =P
Go back must take more...


Shi Hui <3

Friday, April 17, 2009

我要时光机!!!

I asked mummy before I left Malaysia... "Do you bear seeing me going to UK alone???" She replied me, "If it is something for your own good, why not???" I was left speechless at that point of time...

Papa said, "Do your final year in UK..." I replied with a "No..." He told me that since I started on my Year 2... It was until I realised that it is one of his wishes that I can play a part in fulfilling it that I decided to do my final year in UK...

When I was young, I can sleep without covering a blanket... Mummy will always say that even if you do not want to cover your body, make sure you cover up your feet... Now I sleep by covering up my whole self including my face... Hahaha...

When I was young, papa used to tell me that I was picked up from the garbage dump... Everyone hates me so much when I was small because I vomit all the time... Can you imagine how smelly I was??? No wonder even papa does not want to acknowledge me as his daughter... Now he is the one who loves me most...

When I was young, I was not close to jie at all... Simply because she is da jie... I do not like her!!! That's it... Hahaha... Now, I cry the moment I talk to her on the phone... She is my one and only jie in this world who accompanies and pays for my shopping and meal... She is the one who takes care of me when I was away from home to Subang Jaya... Now I am left all alone here... No doubt I really really miss her...

When I was 7 years old, I had the thought why on earth I am not the youngest anymore in the family because Shi Han was born... As she grew up, she's the sweetest among us... Gentle and soft spoken... Now she's counting down to the day that I am back in Malaysia... She's waiting for me to go back and be her driver again...

When I was 8, Shiyi was born... Out of sudden, I have one more younger sister... She is the apple of the eye of my aunt and uncle simply because she is fine with everyone... We travel to anywhere without her... She was under the care of a nanny for a short period of time as grandma was sick at that time and mummy has no time to take care of her... She's the most rebellious among us to the extent mummy complains a lot about her... She has too much ego in herself that you have to understand her mind instead of understanding what was spoken by her... She is the one who argues the most with me but I love her and she loves me too...


When I was 13, Shi Wei was born... She brings so much joy to our family... She gets what she wants and does not need to vie for it... Her da jie, er jie, han jie jie and yi jie jie will give her whatever she wants... Her papa dotes her more than anyone else in this world... She bullies, she hits, she scolds... She talks, she sings, she fools around... Afterall, she is the most disciplined among us who keeps her wardrobe so tidy and neat all the time...

I just wanted to say, I MISS THEM A LOT A LOT... Half year away away from home, half year without seeing them, touching them and feeling them made me realise that I love them more than I always thought...




The messages attached to the Valentine's Card I sent back this year...
It made Shi Han cried when she read it...
It made me cry again when I posted this...
*Click on the picture to have a larger preview*



Pa, I miss your voice...
Mummy, I just want to go home...
Jie, I need your company...
Han, I am willing to fetch you anywhere...
Mek, I am willing to be bombarded by you without retaliating...
Wei, er jie misses the time eating KFC and McDonalds with you...

I can wait for another 107 days... No worries... I just need something to force out the tears in me... Now the tears are out... So I am fine... Muackssss...

Shi Hui <3
Edited : I wonder if I were really given a 时光机, would I want it to lead me back to the past or future??? I seem to be unable to decide on this... I missed those memories when I was the youngest and at the same time, life without 3 younger sisters seems incomplete...

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Surprised...

I never ever thought that I will have the chance to listen to his voice again... I never ever thought that his name will appear on my phone screen... I never ever thought that my phone will ring because of him... It's totally out of my expectation even though I understand that unexpected things tend to happen... But somehow this is so unrealistic... Even I can't convince myself that it actually happened.. What is it trying to tell me??? A reminder that the episode turns one month old???

Anyway, I'll just accept whatever it comes... Shi Hui is still the healed Shi Hui who got over the whole episode in the shortest time... Standing firm on the ground that she has built for herself... I am just surprised that I will actually cross his mind... No doubt I am feeling happy over it... BUT... Nothing can be done to alter the truth...

Three cheers to myself... Hahaha... =D

Shi Hui <3

Chua's Family... <3

Stick Figure Family at FreeFlashToys.com

Make your Stick Figure Family at FreeFlashToys.com

Found this in Karen's blog and decided to have a go with it... Hahaha... I heart them... <3<3<3>

Monday, April 13, 2009

Reborn... =D

Hahaha... Blur Nag has a new look again... Twice in a year... I seem so free but in fact I am not... Finals in one month time and yet I am progressing slower than a snail... Got distracted so easily and Bristol has been so happening lately... Always out till midnight... Chilling either at Pay Chee's place or Chi Ying's place...

Hopefully with this brand new look, Blur Nag will not be as solemn as it used to be... This new template is so colourful and lively... Life is not all about nagging... What about partying and playing??? I surely have missed all the fun part out all these while...

Anyway, I just realised that this is the 151th post in Blur Nag... Stay tuned for more interesting posts... By the way, I have confirmed the date of my return... The excitement has indeed fade off... But I am really looking forward to go back Muar again... I miss papa, mummy, jie, han, mek and wei...

P/S : I am emo again today... Wakaka... I suddenly thought of so many things that I should not think of... Boooohoooo... =P

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Care??? I have no idea...

This is the second time that I had a conversation with XQG in MSN after the whole incident... In fact, I am actually quite surprised because he was the one who initiated the conversation as I did not know that he is online... But the feeling this time is so different from the first time... Updated him with what I have been busy with lately and when he learnt that I am sick for almost 2weeks, he preached me for not taking care of myself...

Does he still care and concern about me??? Is that the reaction I am anticipating when I told him that I am sick??? Does he still worry about me??? I am not used to his care and concern as a friend... He can worry about me but he can't preach me... He can care and concern about me but please know his limit... I might fall in love with him again... And why is everything coming only now??? Where were all these when I need it most??? Where was him when I was worse than sick???

He comes and goes as he likes it... He talks to me when he feels like doing it... I totally have no say from the beginning till the end... I can only accept his decision blindly while making my own assumptions on everything... Why must he appear again when I thought that I can take care of myself and manage everything by myself??? Isn't he selfish??? Isn't he inconsiderate??? He used to be so perfect in my eyes... But what is happening now???

What I seriously need now is not your care and concern... I WANT THE TRUTH... And I would like to let you know that I am doing really great and fine... I wasn't the fragile and incapable Shi Hui as I thought I was...

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Notice...



Sunday, April 05, 2009

I can do it!!!

Afterall, it seems like a blessing in disguise... I do not have to crack my head when I am back in Malaysia... I do not have to deal with so many uncertainties in the future... I do not have to be a bad girl... I do not have to make many many decisions which I hate the most... After weighing the costs and benefits, the benefits far far outweigh the costs...

I came to realise that I can make my own decisions too... I can survive without being nagged and reminded about thousand and one stuff... I can take care of myself when I am sick... I can handle my own problems... I have many many people out there who are willing to lend me their ears and shoulders anytime especially Calvin, Michelle and Yi Ling... You guys are simply marvellous... Two thumbs up...

Darling HJ said that I appear tougher this time... Hahaha... I have no comment on that... It has been classified as another chapter in Shi Hui's history... I flipped through it and now it's the beginning of another chapter... Darling HJ is also the one who came out with my new name, Chua Chua Chua... She actually knew that I am being known as Chua back in Muar... So she ended up calling me Chua Chua... Chua Chua has become my name... To add onto it, she adds another Chua which is the surname behind it... This is how I got my new name... So funny everytime she calls me Chua Chua Chua...

By the way, I am in the process of confirming the date of my flight back... I'll keep you guys informed... I will be back in July anyway... Haha... Should I or should I not??? I have no idea... Maybe I should just go with it and don't bother so much... No wonder people always says that if you think and worry too much, you'll end up doing nothing... I have been thinking and worrying too much... That is why I still dare not confirm the date with the travel agent... Arghhh... Next week next week... I will confirm it because it is already April now... Those who are going back during summer break has already known for sure when are they going back except me... Boooohooooo... =(

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

I GOT OVER HIM!!!

One should know clearly when to start and when to stop...

This sentence came from my housemate when we were chatting the other day... It indeed made me ponder again... It is again something which I have never learnt before... Hence, I am always caught unguarded and unprepared when things cropped up... Always ended up with cuts and bruises here and there... But the worst thing is I seem not to be afraid of those cuts and bruises which all will turn into scars...

One good news... I GOT OVER IT!!! He is out of my mind... I do not have the urge to text him or anything... I came to realise that I am nothing to him besides being an extremely stubborn girl... This time around, it took me the longest time to come to terms with the reality because there is no reason provided... But love needs no reason... The same thing applies to break up, right??? It does not need to come with a reason as well I guess... By the way, I am conveying a message to him here... I'll carry on being stubborn because that is my nature which I can't and won't get rid of...

If stubborn is a sin, then let me be a total sinner... My stubbornness seems to get me into trouble all the time... My arguments, dissatisfaction, disappointment, etc all came from my stubbornness... Sigh... From whom I inherited my stubbornness??? Hmmm... Should be pa for sure... He is even more stubborn than me... Hahaha... Shhhh... No one is supposed to let my dad knows what I wrote here... =P

Anyway, I am not emo... Just another random post before starting doing my job... Hehe... Take care people... Muackssss... :):):)

Blur Nag will never be the same again...

HOPEFULLY...


SHI HUI



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