Wednesday, December 31, 2008

It's time to make a CONFESSION before 2008 ends... I can't be asked to carry on with the lie till 2009... Lie??? This offence sounds so serious... No no... Let's change it with hiding the truth from everyone... But then again, I think you guys are smart enough to know it... I have already made it so obvious in my blog... Just that you guys are too sweet not to expose me... Thanks... I know you guys dote on me... Haha....

Well, the confession starts now... Erhem... I seriously need to clear my throat... Having the thought of being nagged by someone is more than I can bear...

小气鬼 (Xiao Qi Gui) who is very well-known in my blog, who occasionally being referred to as "Dear" in my blog is indeed my dear in real life... No other person but him who backs me up, cheers me up, influences my mood, makes me laugh, makes me cry, etc... Telling me a lot a lot about my good and my bad... Fulfilling each and every promises he made before I left... Helping me to solve all my problems... Understand me thoroughly... Able to stand my temper... Willing to hold my hands and guide me through the path of darkness... The most memorable incident will be me witnessing the very first shooting star in my life together with him... But that happened during our "ai mei" period... He is not someone I "ai mei" with now but someone whom I already said yes to him...

Sorry for keeping it from you guys... I have my own reasons for not telling... I have my own reasons for lying... Hope you guys can understand and please don't hold it against me... Till then... Any further doubt, kindly approach me in MSN... I'll be very willing to clear any of your doubt... Cheers... :D:D:D

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

刚才在youtube的时候, 看到这句话在fahrenheit的mv...

"为什么越来越爱一个人,
却觉得越来越寂寞...."

让我想了一下... 应该是因为越爱一个人的时候, 你越不能忍受寂寞... 什么事情都会想要两个人一起做... 什么都会想说出来... 一个人的时候永远都不完整... 就是这样了...

Shi Hui's Theory #1...

:D:D:D

Monday, December 29, 2008

Texts flooding in as early as 5am in the morning while I am still sleeping... zZzzzzZZZ... Got the thought of cursing that person... But then again, I went back to sleep after seeing those texts with no anger at all... Hehe... You are forgiven because it's already afternoon back in Malaysia...

How great the feelings can be... Just a gentle reminder and everything is understood and done according to what I want... Where to find such a great deal??? Tell me... Hahaha... Should be better than striking lottery because I have never experienced the feeling of striking lottery... Maybe I should compare with a little girl getting the Xmas present she wants... Wahaha... Cool~~~ Santa can actually hear her...

Not only I am shocked with me saying it out... He himself is shocked when I said that... I really really can't imagine the whole scenario... The thought of it made me feel guilty and bad but at the same time, it's so so so so funny... I like it when I asked whether I can have a request... And without hesitating, he said, "go ahead"... And again without any hesitation, he agreeed to my request although he did suffer from a minor heart attack because it is something out of his expectation... I am being really really really happy now... Over over over over the moon will be more appropriate... :D:D:D

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Shi Hui oh Shi Hui... Chua oh Chua... How could you come up with such a request??? How silly can you be this time... This is simply so unlike you... You used to make do with whatever you are given but now you are asking for more... You are being demanding...

How funny it can be... And guess what... My request are being taken into consideration.. Woohoo... This is too too too surprising... How many people will actually listen to my crap and nonsense besides my family... Hahaha... But then there is this another silly person who is trying very very hard to appease and accommodate me...

Request fulfilled... Whar's next for new year resolution??? Think hard... Hehe...

Take care and miss ya... Muacksss...

Thursday, December 25, 2008

习惯已经变成自然... 现在的我好难受... 好不习惯... 已经快两天没有做我每天都会做的事... 什么都不能做的时候是最痛苦的... 只能用想的... 但是又会乱想... :(:(:(

Shi Hui, what else are you good at besides crying when you are helpless??? NOTHING!!!

What a day... I appear such a failure that I have no idea on how to carve a smile on your face... It has reached the extent that I have no idea on what I am supposed to say... I am really really helpless... I should do something but yet there seems nothing that I can do... It's like a part of you being taken away... You are crying in pain but I can only watch you without knowing what to do to ease the pain... Can someone share with me on how to cheer someone up??? In desperate need of help now... Please... :(:(:(

He has not been talking to me for the past 7hours... I have no idea how is he now... Sleeping??? Mourning??? Staring at the blank??? I am so so so worried... I am such a good-for-nothing, right??? He was there when I am in my lowest part of my life... He was there when I frown... Yet, where am I when he is feeling low and frowning??? Sigh~~~

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

What a memorable Christmas Eve... I had a shocking news... My heart aches more than yours seeing how low spririt you are now... It's a well-known fact that your car is just like your wife... Not knowing how to comfort you made me really really guilty... But I am really really thankful that you suffer no major injuries except for some pain... Thank god... As for your mood, I'll try my best to cheer you up although I have no idea whether I am capable of it or not... This is the first time you are in such a low mood... Sigh~~~

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Anyone ever wonder what surprise did 小气鬼 gave me on my birthday??? Many indeed... Well, for your information, he was not the first to wish me Happy Birthday... Fine with it... He fell asleep on the night of 14th December, when it is already my birthday in Malaysia without wishing me at all... Sigh... He called me at 6 something Malaysia time... Of course I am not satisfied with it... Not pleased at all...

As a punishment, I made him to be the last to wish me this year which will be at 8am Malaysia time (12am UK time)... I reminded him time and time again that he has to wake up no matter what... Hence, I waited and waited for him... Guess what time he appears??? 8.30am Malaysia time... It's already 16th December both in UK and Malaysia... Do you think I should really faint??? I even warned him that he will be ignored if he failed to fulfil his punishment... I wanted wanted wanted so much to scold him... But my heart melted when he told me that he stayed up the whole night... He accidentally fell asleep at 6.30am with his hand still holding the mouse... Do I still have the heart to scold him??? Of course not... Now I am the one feeling guilty... :P Bluek... There's no way the birthday girl is going to feel guilty...

As magnanimous as I always be, he is spared for showing me some sincerity and the guilt in him... Hahaha... He has been performing quite well too since last night... At the very least, he has the sense of guilt...

Thanks a lot, 小气鬼 aka dear... :D:D:D You made me feel like a candle shining in the dark... Muacksss...

Monday, December 15, 2008

Happy 21st Birthday to me... I admit it has been a long awaited day... I AM OFFICIALLY 21... Hahaha... Who get so excited being 21 except me??? Wishes for the year :-

- Everyone in the family stay healthy and happy especially pa and mummy...
- Sisters getting prettier and cuter... Mummy getting younger and prettier too... :P
- As for myself, graduate in 2009 and get what I wished for...
- Everyone gets what they wish for...
- The last one will remains a secret... :D

Thanks for all the wishes... Take care, miss ya and love ya...

Cheers... Muacksss... :D:D:D

Sunday, December 14, 2008

The thought of not having the usual gang celebrating my 21st birthday this year is somehow weird... But I'll be spending my birthday with my darlings in Bristol... I am sure it will be a total blast...

With so many festive seasons approaching, the thought of being alone in this cold land is seriously a bit unbearable... I am missing each and everyone more as each day passes... Will I be able to hang on till that day???

With so many deadlines to meet, the workload I have now seems to be enough to crush me down... With the amount of stuff I have in my mind, all these do not seem alright at all... With the amount of problems that I need to overcome, I hardly can breath now...

With the thought of losing a good friend is enough to freak me out... My heart is never a second feeling comfortable now... It's a feeling that I can't put into words... Numb but you can feel thousands and even million needles pricking through it... ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! Let it die, spare me the agony...

Where is the usual shoulder that will be there when tears are rolling down my cheeks??? Where is that pair of hands which will be there to guide me through the path of darkness??? Where is the sound that will play by my ear that reminds me time and time again that I have to hold on??? When will be our next time looking up the sky and staring at the same star wishing upon our very first shooting star... I miss all those moment...

My feeling now somehow reminds me of the song "Total eclipse of the heart"...

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

The songs that are currently being played in my playlist are "You must have had a broken heart", "Home", "Total eclipse of the heart" and "You raise me up".... How can my heart not feel the pain???

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Can I really don't bother about everything??? Yes... I mean EVERYTHING!!! This is simply too frustrating... Sometimes I wonder what did I gain at the end of the day when I really care??? NOTHING, isn't it???

Friday, December 12, 2008

Homesick... Homesick... Homesick... I WANT TO CRY SO MUCH!!! I miss my pa, mummy, da jie, han, mek, wei, ah gong, wai po, everyone, everyone and everyone!!!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Ooops... Was too engrossed in my silly doggy blog post until I forgotten a new feature in my blog... The playlist... Hahaha... I only put four songs in it as I don't think anyone will stay in my blog for as long as four songs... Hehe... So most of the time, you all will be listening to "My Only Wish" by Britney Spears... It's my all time favourite Xmas song besides Jingle Bell and Let It Snow, Let It Snow... :D:D:D

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Sigh~~~ I seem to be sighing a lot in this blog... On the other hand, I sound so mad in the other blog... This is me... The first thing that always pop out in my head when trying to update this blog is S-I-G-H... I have actually been told that sighing can make you feel more relaxed... But I just don't have the habit of sighing except while blogging... My mum used to tell me that sighing will bring me bad luck and being the somehow "superstitious" or should I say ignorant, I don't really sigh... As time passed, I realised that my mum was actually bullshitting... Hahaha... Shhh... Don't let my mum knows... Of course she didn't tell me that... That's from me... She just doesn't want me to sigh a lot... Anyway, although I don't let out a big breath, somehow I am so used to "aiyo", "haiyo", "arghhh" and stuff like that... Hehe...

Back to serious matter now... How many times must I repeat myself that fate brings two people together... But maintaining it requires the effort of both of the party... Understanding each other's heart is not difficult... Just put in your heart... Everything will be fine... But of course this does not apply if only one person is doing... There's no such thing as who is the giver and who is the receiver... Both play the same role of giver and receiver... This is how things work... Everyone deserves happiness let alone being in a relationship... Girls when being in a relationship will really commit their heart and soul... They are as simple as a child whose desire are the attention, care, love and concern from their loved ones... Is that very difficult???

Listen here, no one is supposed to have the same ending as I had... As for my girls, please fight for the happiness you deserve... It pains my heart to see you all fretting over relationship problem... Relationship should be something that can bring a smile on your face when thinking of the other half of yours... When thinking of him, you will realise how lucky you are being showered with care, concern and love... When you are with him, you are allowed to be stubborn and wilful... Once in a while, having squabbles over small little things can add some spice to the relationship but not quarreling over small little things... The spice will bring damage to the relationship...

Aren't all these what a relationship should be or am I still living in my dreamland??? Maybe I am not applying my intelligence again this time... Spouting nonsense here but somehow I do believe this kind of relationship exists...

If I start my post with a sigh, let me end it with a sigh... Sigh~~~~

Sunday, December 07, 2008

有些事情需要等到对的时间才说... 当时对你的不好不代表什么... 不说清楚不代表是故意的... 可能是时间不对... 等到了对的时间就一定有答案... 不对的时间说反而会吵架....

看心情, 看时间, 看你不在想那件事了才来说也不迟... 这就叫幸福, 是吗???

要去了解一个人的心并不难... 就只要用心... 除了用心, 当然还是用心啦... 哈哈...

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Today, 6/12/2008 is the death anniversary of my great grandma according to the lunar calendar... How time flies... It has been a year since she left us... But the picture of her is still fresh in my memory... I can't be there to offer her joss sticks... I'll make it up when I am back... So many things had happened in the past one year in the family...

Tai ma, i know you have been watching over us... Keeping each and everyone in the family safe and sound... Blessed us with good health and happiness... You want us to live in peace and harmony... We managed to do that... Please continue to watch over us, protect us and bless us... Thanks...

Even though physically you can't be with us anymore, you'll forever remain in our heart... Deeply missed by us all the time... May you find happiness in another part of the world with the companion of tai gong...

Friday, December 05, 2008

Sigh~~~ I am sighing again... Aih...

Did you ever promise me you'll take good care of her??? But why did you let this happen??? I got a heart wrenching news this evening... Did you know that your action is almost equivalent to tearing her heart into bits and pieces in which the pain can cause her to die of heartache... Gosh... You seem to be from Mars... Sweat... What do you want from her??? Treat her the way she should be treated and deserved... Pamper her the way she used to be pampered... Love her the way you used to love her... Listen to her woes, show her some concern... She might keep mum but that doesn't mean she's alright... Please be more attentive... Don't make me have the feeling of smacking you... I can see that she has grown tougher than before... She has put in a lot of effort to maintain this relationship... Have you ever done your part so far??? If you can't commit any further, don't let her waste her youth and time on you...

Sigh~~~~~

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

I have some silly thought again out of sudden... Just feel like nagging on this part... Recently, it seems that many people around me just put an end to their relationship... I have no idea which party wanted to end it... Somehow a break up can have different impact on different people... You'll see moody shoutout, emo picture caption, sad blog posts... All these sounds normal...

But what about having a major change in your own appearance??? For example, have a boy cut when you used to have waist length hair??? Gosh... I seriously cannot believe and accept this... Does that make you feel reborn??? Or just by cutting off your long hair means you have forgotten all about him??? All these are craps...

Stand up and move on with your life... The earth does not stop spinning just because you are grieving over the break up... The other party might be out there having fun... Don't be silly anymore!!!! :D

P/S : The above post is not directly referring to anyone... This is based on my observation lately...

Take care and miss ya...