Friday, September 11, 2009
Again...
I saw him again today... As usual, I am the one who lost control simply because I missed him too much... I want to see him but everytime I see him, things changed again because he is no longer mine... Seeing him standing right in front of me telling me stuff about other people can really drive me nuts...
Sleepless nights... Teary eyes... Telling stuff that should not be exposed indicates that all my little ego has gone... Nothing left... I was so proud the other time... Telling myself that my tears will never drop because of him... But then today is the second time...
I want so so so much to say that "I HATE YOU" just like what I did before... But I love him more than I can say that to him... I made myself suffer again just to protect him... I always think that I love myself more than anything else... But then there are exception... There are 3 guys that can make me listen to them no matter what... And it so happened that he is one of them...
I am so surprised that I am defeated to the ground this time... Totally defeated... Simply because of my ego... I think I am really mad...
