Saturday, May 09, 2009

Flashback...

There are simply too many things that appear right in front of me while I was reading Yi Ling's blog just now... Her anger, her dissatisfaction, her disappointment, her frustration, etc seem so familiar to me... Those seem to be my regular post here few months ago... Thinking back, it has been almost 2 months since the episode... Am I really fine??? Have I got over everything??? Am I happier??? I tend to ask myself these questions...

I think I am fine... I think I am happier and lamer as well... But...



Edited : I am very sure that I will get over this thoroughly once and for all after I get the explanation I deserve regardless of what the reason is... I JUST WANT AN EXPLANATION!!!

Well, I have stopped forwarding him texts everyday... Sometimes we do chat in MSN but the frequency is like once or twice in a month... He is no longer the one I needed when I am down... He can't do anything at all to cheer me up... Up till now I still have the feeling that he is avoiding me... It's true... There was once he said to me in MSN... "I don't deserve you to treat me so nice"... My reply was, "Whether you deserve it or not, whether I should treat you nice or not are up to me"...

Till now, I have no idea what kind of feeling that I am using to face him... I try to make it as neutral as possible... Yes, it is very very neutral... I treat him the way that I treat my friends... I just want everyone to be happy...

Trust me... I am happy... Although I might not be the happiest girl on earth now, at the very least I am happier than him and many many other people... Cheers...

Shi Hui <3