Saturday, April 11, 2009

Care??? I have no idea...

This is the second time that I had a conversation with XQG in MSN after the whole incident... In fact, I am actually quite surprised because he was the one who initiated the conversation as I did not know that he is online... But the feeling this time is so different from the first time... Updated him with what I have been busy with lately and when he learnt that I am sick for almost 2weeks, he preached me for not taking care of myself...

Does he still care and concern about me??? Is that the reaction I am anticipating when I told him that I am sick??? Does he still worry about me??? I am not used to his care and concern as a friend... He can worry about me but he can't preach me... He can care and concern about me but please know his limit... I might fall in love with him again... And why is everything coming only now??? Where were all these when I need it most??? Where was him when I was worse than sick???

He comes and goes as he likes it... He talks to me when he feels like doing it... I totally have no say from the beginning till the end... I can only accept his decision blindly while making my own assumptions on everything... Why must he appear again when I thought that I can take care of myself and manage everything by myself??? Isn't he selfish??? Isn't he inconsiderate??? He used to be so perfect in my eyes... But what is happening now???

What I seriously need now is not your care and concern... I WANT THE TRUTH... And I would like to let you know that I am doing really great and fine... I wasn't the fragile and incapable Shi Hui as I thought I was...