Thursday, March 19, 2009
I finally got the long awaited reply... But how come when the sms reaches me, my tears flow like a broken tap... I did not get the answers that I want at all... My小气鬼told me he's dead... He's dead... He's gone... This time, it really slip through my fingers... It's gone... The case is closed... Gone forever... How does it slip through my fingers, I wonder... He does not even talk to me through the phone... Only smses... That's all...
There is this song that has been playing in my head for the past few days... "Say it isn't so" by Gareth Gates... The chorus goes like this...
Say it isn't so
Tell me you're not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
That this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you wanna know
I don't wanna let go
So say it isn't so
I seriously seriously hope that this is a dream... Everything will be fine after I woke up... But how come this time no matter how many times I woke up, the pain is still there??? And the pain doubles or triples as time goes by... Michelle, this time I am right... It's a question with no answer provided at the end...
I am totally defeated this time... I lost my strong front... Nothing to cover my fragility and sadness... Luckily the tears know how to roll this time... How much tears is enough to numb a broken heart??? How much tears is needed to mourn for my小气鬼???
I never know it will hurt so badly... I never know it will be so painful... I never know it will turn out like this... I never know that will be the last time... How come there are so many things that I never know??? Stupidity remains... Ignorance stays still... Stubborn leading the way...
