Tuesday, February 17, 2009

I am too imperfect to the extent that nothing else can be done to make me better... It will only end up making things worse... My stubborn stays still, not even have the idea of taking a step backward... My temper remains, not even have the thought of hiding for a moment... My insatiable demand is driving myself nuts... Loneliness and emptiness seems to know me by my name... Haunting and pestering me non-stop...

If one day the volcano erupts, that will be the end of everything... What a disastrous event... People lost their home, their belongings and most importantly their loved ones... The happiness that one used to have will be gone forever... Nothing can bring back those life... Nothing can be done to salvage everything... How pathetic it will be...

If one day I am left on my own, will I myself be the cause of everything??? No other people should be blamed??? Just because I am too stubborn, demanding, unreasonable and not understanding??? How come I am never happy??? How come I can't see things the way I used to??? How come a promise is only valid when the situation permits??? How come even a promise has validity period??? Where can I find promise with double assurance and unlimited validity period???

If one day I am the one who left to be on my own, will I myself be the cause of everything again??? Holding on because I can't let go??? Holding on because I have sunk too deep??? Holding on because I don't wish to start from the starting point again??? Holding on to the belief you and I can achieve everything... Is that possible??? Or is that impossible??? If I were posed this question one month ago, without any doubt and hesitation, I can tell u, of course IT IS POSSIBLE... But now... I need to pause and think about it...

Just ignore this random post of mine and don't probe... Since I created the whole mess, let me clear it up all by myself... It will be back to square one... I promise... I won't let the mess takes control over me... NEVER!!!

能不能不爱了??? 因为爱太痛了... 我痛得快死了... 却不能把你忘了... (extracted from Kenji's new song, 爱太痛)...