Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Things are not right at all since two weeks ago... Yet I was kept in the dark... Maybe I was too ignorant... Now two weeks have passed and I was made known that things were not right at all... I seriously need time to digest all these... I can't accept so much at one shot without being mentally prepared at all...

This time I am really left to be independent... Not even 小气鬼can help me... I am helpless... I am clueless... All these while, whenever anything happened, I can always rely on him... Now I am left all alone figuring out how to overcome this... I know what I need to do... But how??? Just like an old man being taken away his walking stick... He knows he has to walk but how to walk???

Unless I do something, or else things will remain unchanged... I can even wash my face using my tears and there are still excess to it... How dumb I can be??? Can I be any dumber??? How stupid can I be??? Can I be even more stupid??? Of course I can because I am capable of nothing... Things have been so easy all the time... I never grow up... I never learn how to survive outside my comfort zone... Now when the comfort zone is being wrecked, I don't even have any idea on how to breathe...

Aren't I simple enough??? I cry when I am sad... I laugh when I am happy... I am too emotional sometimes, I admit... You cry, I will follow you cry... You laugh, I will laugh with you... Tell me, how not to cry when you are crying??? Last time, things were not like this... Until now, when you can't suppress anymore of your bad mood, you don't allow me to cry with you but expect me to smile... I really really don't know how to smile anymore...

Dear, can I beg you to get out of this??? Please...