Monday, January 26, 2009

"HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR, SHI HUI... :D:D:D"

It's just 5 minutes past 12am in Bristol and tears are flooding my table again... It's the first day of Chinese New Year in Bristol... I have finally managed to pacify myself that this is the way it should be.. Trying my very best to make do with whatever I have here to have the feel of Chinese New Year... And with the very very naive, silly and STUPID thought of wanting dear to be the first from Malaysia to wish me Happy CNY according to the UK time... But I have no idea of what is he rushing with that made him does not even have one minute to spare for me... Each and every disappointment, I can take it in my own stride... But this time around, I am really really disappointed... Am I being demanding and unreasonable again??? I think I am again...

I always thought you are the one who can accommodate me all the time, who understand me in every single situation, who know what is exactly in my mind... BUT I SEEM TO BE TOTALLY WRONG AGAIN!!! Can someone tell me what is really right and what is really wrong??? Don't make me clueless all the time... Things have been so so wrong lately... I hate this feeling... The feeling of not being understood... The feeling of not being appreciated anymore... Enough is enough... I will have to make do with whatever is given to me again... The feeling of falling down from the moon is really painful... Maybe it's because I have been over the moon for quite some time...

If you were to treat me in this way now, why bother treating me like princess before this??? It causes me more pain and effort to revert back to normal life... Being treated at two different extremes by the same person HURTS...

I MISS PA, MUMMY, JIE, HAN, MEK AND WEI!!! I WANT TO GO HOME NOW!!! At the very least, everyone back home will spare some time listening to me no matter how meaningless my speeches are going to be... I JUST REQUEST TO BE HEARD OF...