Saturday, January 24, 2009

Am I on the verge of depression??? If I am not mistaken, I have been crying almost everyday for the past two weeks... On average, once a day or sometimes even twice a day... Tears have become uncontrollable or even free flow... It rolls down without signal...

I know it's due to the pressure from test, presentations and assignment deadlines... With all these clashing with my CNY mood, I am really not in the mood at all... My first CNY without family is celebrated in such a pathetic way... Even I sympathise myself now... I am feeling really homesick now... I can sacrifice my 13 hours but there's no way that I can reach Malaysia... The feeling is really terrible... This is so unlike me... I won't be anticipating CNY with teary eyes... I am always the very very excited one when it comes to CNY... But CNY in Bristol??? Never ever going to happen in my life for the second time... Once is more than enough for me...

I have been brushing off the thought that I am not homesick at all... But again I am wrong... The more I choose to ignore the feeling, the more I can't take it... I have been telling myself times and times again that I am mentally prepared to have CNY without family members around before I came here... Isn't that the case??? Yes, it is... But as CNY is really approaching, there is no way to pacify me anymore... Even I myself run out of ideas and excuses to deceive myself... Only hippo will be with me during lonely nights...

I WANT TO GO HOME NOW!!! I MISS GONG, WAI PO, PA, MUMMY, DA JIE, HAN, MEK, WEI AND DEAR!!! I MISS MICHELLE, BOO, CHEW, CHARELI, CHIAU WEI, YI LING, MAY JOAN, HWEE LE, AI RIN, EE THENG, MICHELLE LEE, VI VIAN, EUNICE, KAREN, CI PEI, CHAN AND PHYLIS!!! I MISS CALVIN, WEE MENG, DANIEL, WILLIAM AND WENG KIEN!!!