Sunday, December 14, 2008

The thought of not having the usual gang celebrating my 21st birthday this year is somehow weird... But I'll be spending my birthday with my darlings in Bristol... I am sure it will be a total blast...

With so many festive seasons approaching, the thought of being alone in this cold land is seriously a bit unbearable... I am missing each and everyone more as each day passes... Will I be able to hang on till that day???

With so many deadlines to meet, the workload I have now seems to be enough to crush me down... With the amount of stuff I have in my mind, all these do not seem alright at all... With the amount of problems that I need to overcome, I hardly can breath now...

With the thought of losing a good friend is enough to freak me out... My heart is never a second feeling comfortable now... It's a feeling that I can't put into words... Numb but you can feel thousands and even million needles pricking through it... ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! Let it die, spare me the agony...

Where is the usual shoulder that will be there when tears are rolling down my cheeks??? Where is that pair of hands which will be there to guide me through the path of darkness??? Where is the sound that will play by my ear that reminds me time and time again that I have to hold on??? When will be our next time looking up the sky and staring at the same star wishing upon our very first shooting star... I miss all those moment...

My feeling now somehow reminds me of the song "Total eclipse of the heart"...

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

The songs that are currently being played in my playlist are "You must have had a broken heart", "Home", "Total eclipse of the heart" and "You raise me up".... How can my heart not feel the pain???