Sunday, November 30, 2008

How many major decisions have I ever made for myself throughout my almost 21 years of life??? Hmmm... Thinking back... It can be counted using my ten fingers or even five... When I was young, everything is decided for... Which school you are attending, how are you going to school, which course you should be majoring in, etc... Don't get me wrong... I am not blaming or complaining... I know the amount of freedom I have from my parents... So far I feel that my parents have always made the right choice for me... Of course they will want the best for me... No worries about that...

But when it comes to my own decision making, it seems that none is right... I always ended up making the wrong judgement, choice and decision... As a result, I dare not judge people anymore... I know I trust people too easily... Anyone who treat me nice are good people... Just like a 3-year-old kid being given a lollipop, then the giver is a nice person... I am exactly that way... If you say something nice to me or treat me nice, then you are classified as a nice person... Can you imagine how naive, silly and stupid I can be...

After a few stumble and fall, I begin to rely on others for decision making... I'll fret for a few days over a matter if it involves me making decision that will affect my life in some way... After a few days, I'll still come up with no solution... I will only frown when I have to make decision... I will only cry when the outcome does not favour me...

Sometimes I really wonder what am I capable of??? 小气鬼actually said that my intelligence is only used in my studies, stubbornness and when making fun of him... When I am faced with any problem, my intelligence will be out of sight... It hurts, right??? But then again, it hurts because it hits the nail on my head... Sigh... If I were to compare myself to him, I appear inferior and useless...