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Saturday, February 27, 2010

Happy Tiger Year,,,

Woohoo... It has been really really a while since I last updated this blog of mine... Okok... I admit that I am getting lazier and lazier... *slap myself*

Before I forget, Happy Chinese New Year to everyone... Today is already the 14th day of Chinese New Year... Phewwww... How time flies... The first day of Chinese New Year coincides with the Western Valentine's Day and the last day of Chinese New Year, as usual is the Chinese Valentine's Day... Hahahaha... It's indeed a year to remember... =) I am so glad that I am able to celebrate Chinese New Year this time around unlike last year...

Of course this year, it was full of anticipation and excited... I came back to Muar on Thursday night and even taken 3 and a half day leave to fully enjoy the celebration this time around... Hahahaha... Whatever you want to say it... I am exaggerating... I am being lazy... I simply love CNY... Weeeeeee...

To summarise the whole CNY, I lose money during gambling although I have been playing very very little as compared to the previous years... I went to more places than the previous years which I enjoyed a lot as people nowadays don't really visit people's houses that much... I ate a lot of course... Cookies is something that I will never say no... Hahahaha... The end result, a fatter me...

This time around, my family went to have photo shooting as well... Hahaha... A very nice experience... I love the feeling... Told mummy that we should do that every year... =P

Overall, the good things far far outweigh the bad things that happened during CNY... Thanks for the company, thanks for everything and everything... What seems impossible to me is made possible by you guys... Love you guys to the max... =*

Shi Hui <3

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Friends...

Well, I have a sudden thought of blogging because I am feeling so awful now... I saw some pictures in Facebook just now and I am feeling extremely sad... I don't know why... It is a feeling that I can't put into words...

Michelle gave me a book entitled "Good Friends" today... The book has so many interesting quotes in it which made me really love it... And because of that book, I have been having so many deep thoughts today... Am I the one who has so much expectation in my friends or they are those who disappoint me again and again??? I have been asking myself thousand and one whys??? In what way do I deserve this??? I simply don't...

I may be very useful in some ways but that is not the way to be treated... I am a human with flesh and blood... Not something that can be chucked aside after using... My heart can feel the pain... I told one of my friends the other day that friends can actually be filtered... What's left are those that are worth to be your friends... He replied me telling me that it sounds so cruel to filter friends...

But which is more cruel??? To be disappointed by them again and again??? Or to suffer the pain once and for all??? I choose the latter because one deep stab is better than stabbing the same place after the first stab has just healed... I am not going to say that I dislike them but then I won't take the initiative to do small little things for them because they are simply not worth my time and effort...

Today, you made my tears rolled... I am fine with it... But then, there won't be the second time because you are simply not worth it... It's not the end, but then it's not going to go any further than this...


Sunday, December 20, 2009

Out of It!!!

I have not been updating my post with my deep thought lately... Reasons being, I have no time for deep thoughts... Hahahaha...

October - I have no idea what I have been busy with... Maybe with my Europe trip preparation... There are so many things to buy and prepare... Busy busy busy...

November - I am away from Malaysia for 19days... Had my convocation in Bristol... Traveled to part of the world... The most memorable month of my life...

December - I moved to Singapore and started my working life... It's another chapter of my life...

In the midst of everything, of course I still have my usual yumcha session... Crapping and talking nonsense are part of my life... Hahahaha... Looking at my schedule, I seriously have no time to bother about other stuff which is not related to me at all... Even my naive, silly and stupid thoughts are washed away as time passed... I am feeling so relieved as time passes each day... I'll just wait and see what God has in his hands for me... No point being stubborn or hanging onto something or someone which or who doesn't belong to you at all... I learnt this...

My mind are clear... I am awake... I know what is best for me... I know who is good to me... I know what is my next step... My plan is organised... Everything is going the way I want it to be... 2009 has been the best year for me... There are simply so many things that made me grow up even more... I strongly believe Shi Hui has grown up a little bit more as compared to last time... =)

Shi Hui <3

It's a Little Bit Too Fast...

Just a day after I have been complaining about my unemployed and meaningless life in Blur Nag, I received a call from Yong Fan Kiong & Co. asking me to attend an interview at 3pm... After taking down the address, I googled the direction to find out where should I alight from the MRT... Had my shower, breakfast and off I go for the interview...

When I reached the office, I filled up the form provided and I went into Ms. Yong's room... She is the one who called me earlier in the morning... I was so nervous as it was my first job interview... I seriously have no idea what should I expect from it... After she posed me a few questions about my qualification background, she started to give me a question on currency exchange... She asked me about the journal entries... Phew... My heart nearly jumped out... I was so stunned as it has been ages since I deal with double entry... Moreover, this has to do with exchange gain/loss... Lady luck was with me I guess... I knew how to answer it... Hahhahaha... What a relief... She then inform me that I have to go through another interview with the manager in charge of me... I was cursing inside of me... @#$%^&*

After a while, she came back into the room and told me that it is not necessary to go for the second interview... She said, "We'll just hire you"... I was soooooooooo happy!!! She even asked me to come for work the next day... I just agreed as I have nothing to do staying at home...

Tomorrow will be my 3rd week of work... Time flies... Colleagues have been nice... Much much better than the firm I used to have my attachment... Work has been fine as there are people to ask when I am faced with any problem...

BUT BUT BUT... There is a very weird rules in my office... All the girls are supposed to wear skirt to work everyday... This is something which I have never heard before... And now, I am in skirt everyday to office... Typical OL... Hahahaha... Anyway, I guess this is working life... I still need some time to adjust to it... But till now, I have no complaints as this is the route I have chosen...

Shi Hui <3

Monday, December 07, 2009

Life...

I guess I have been enjoying myself ever since the day I handed in my last paper... From end of May up till now... Visited Birmingham in July, Penang in September and Europe in November... And now I am in Singapore looking for my first full-time permanent job...

Everything seems to go so well according to my plan but I am not happy at all... Is it because of the pressure given by everyone around me or because of the expectation I have in myself??? It has been some time since I last feel so stressful... Everyone has been asking me the same question every time I see them... "Have you managed to find a job???"... The usual reply was a smile and a simple NO... I am more anxious than anyone else in finding job... But what can I do when I get no reply at all???

I left everything again in Malaysia... My family, my friends and the usual crap gang... And again I am in an island which is so foreign to me... I have not been to Singapore for more than a decade... But I am glad to have Jojo as housemate... However, life here reminds me so much of the life I had in Bristol...

Indeed this new phase of life of mine is not as smooth sailing as I thought it will be... So what you have a degree... Everyone has it...

Shi Hui <3

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Why???!!!!

I have been asked umpteen times... Why are you emo??? What are the source of your emo??? Who made me emo???

I admit that I am feeling emo all the time... So many things happened at one go... I can hardly have a chance to let out a big SIGH!!! How I wish I can say everything out when you guys asked... But then I have my reservations... Up till now, I have no idea whether this can be tell to others or not... That's one of the reasons that made me so down... There is one person who I feel is the best candidate to know about this, but then after second thought, I am not sure whether I should let him know about this or not... This leaves me so frustrated... The thought of saying it or not...

My mind has been flooded with the news everyday... Latest news come in day by day... The matter is getting more and more serious... I feel so helpless... I don't know which party should take the blame because no one seems to be wrong... It's just that anger complicates matter...

Moving on to another matter... I thought I have already repeated myself many many times that I wish to wash my hands off the matter... But why again and again, I am made aware of the situation... I always have the first hand news... I don't wish to have any knowledge about all these... It does not concern me at all... Other people view it as showing off... But I stand too near that I have no idea how am I supposed to analyse and view the whole situation...

I have so many things to say... I simply need a pair of suitable ears... I need a shoulder to cry on as well... I have a sudden thought that tai ma is no longer blessing us this time around... If she is, how come it's in a mess now??? No one wanted it to be in this way... Or it's a challenge that she wants us to go through???

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

.........

Michelle commented that I have been having many deep thoughts ever since I came back from Bristol...

I admit I have more thoughts as compared to the previous time... Last time, I only have to listen to solutions... Now I have to come out with my own solutions... Yes, I did try to solve the problem but most of the time, things just do not favour me at all... My solutions do not work at all... Consequently, I regretted my action and decision... What's next??? There is no one to turn to at all...

I still have many many questions which are left unanswered... Someone used to say that I have a brain but I always use it at the wrong place... Whenever it's the right time for me to apply my intelligence, I simply refused... I don't know why... I just chucked in my full level of stubbornness all the time... I know it won't solve any problem...

I always think that I can change someday... Or I am merely consoling myself??? I am not tougher at all at the end of the day, but instead even more fragile... I thought I am independent enough... But I am not again... I need other people by my side more even if it's just for a chat because being alone is too scary... I thought I will have less tears because I feel that I have gone through the worst... But it's not the case again... Tears roll for no reason... I thought I can get rid of the habit one fine day... But when will that day come??? I can't wait for that day to arrive!!!

Calvin asked me not to update my blog with emo posts as it will affect others...

I apologize to every reader if my blog has been affecting you in any way... But this is the most comfortable channel for me to voice out everything... So, don't rob me of the this way of making myself better and less emo... At the very least, I tried to make myself better...

I am starting to accept the fact that I am selfish and stubborn... Will elaborate more in my next post...



Monday, October 05, 2009

Happy ending...

The situation is getting more and more obvious and awkward... Even I myself am running out of ideas on how am I supposed to avoid the situation... Running out of topics when meeting each other... The awkwardness when facing each other... I wonder whether I am the only one feeling this way or maybe the other party feels it too...

We used to have so much to chat about... But thinking back... All those stuff can be categorized under the same topic... Hence, it falls back to square one... We were actually chatting the same old stuff since day one... I am the silly one again this time thinking that we were more than just friends... I was already told that things will never turn out the way I want it to be... But then I choose to think that things will work out just because I have the faith... But then I was defeated again...

True... I feel the pain... I am disappointed... To the extent of very very disappointed but what can I do and say??? Echo told me before... XQG told me before... I never listen... I thought I can take it all in my stride... But the truth is I could not at all... How stubborn human nature can be...

On the other hand, the choice of letting go is the best decision I have ever made for myself in my entire life... The decision hurts me more than a little, but I am very confident that the wound will heal one day... No doubt that this decision is influenced by many external factors and parties... I am sure that it is a decision that many people will feel happy for me... I know I might be the only one feeling sad over the decision but as long as those who loves me are happy, it's totally worth it...

I am the losing party in the end but it's a happy ending... I will get over it one fine day... =)

Blur Nag will never be the same again...

HOPEFULLY...


SHI HUI



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